This is the story about someone that means a lot to me. Someone that knows me more than I know myself. Someone that I care about deeply. My guardian angel.
I dedicated this post to a friend, a protector and a brother, Azmir bin Ahmad.
It’s all started 3 years ago. We were in the same class. He was the oldest one but yet, he could be the most childish stance compared to us. To be frank, I don’t really mingle with all of my classmates back in semester 1 including him. I don’t know why. But things are getting better when we entered the 2nd semester.
I still remember that we were working on a class project in the 2nd semester. He was the President and I was the Secretary. That’s how it is all started. We talked a lot, laughed a lot, we hang out, we worked together. And snap, he becomes a part of my life. We're close ever since.
It’s like I have this weird connection with him. Not in the romantic-kind-of-way. Durhhh! More like brother and sister linked.
The link between us is so strong that whenever I have problems, I don’t have to even bother to tell him. He would notices. He always does.
And the bond keeps getting stronger and stronger. I have once cluttered with drama associated with friends not so long ago. No matter how awful things turned out, he always there for me. He supported me and never left my side when everybody else did.
Whenever I’m sad, he would cheer me up. Whenever I’m down, he would find a way to make me happy again. Whenever I’m all stressed out of studies, he gives me courage, saying that I can do it and I can make it. He trusts in me and always sees the best in me.
Then, I called him. I asked him, why didn’t he tell me? Why do I have to find out from someone else? Why do I have to know about it just a few days before the operation? Am I that unimportant? And again, I burst into tears.
He didn’t want anybody to feel sorry for him. That was his excuse for not telling me. He calmed me down by saying everything will be just fine. However, he did mention that even though he survives the operation, some of his memories will be lost. I can't stop crying and crying. Then, he said, “Jangan risau la. Aku takkan lupa kau. Aku takkan lupa adik aku.”
He went through the operation and thank god, the operation succeeded. They removed the tumor along with some of his memories. I was so sure that he will not forget about me….
He did. He forgets all about me. He doesn’t even know who I am. Yes I was so crushed. I lied to myself that it is not a big deal. Because once he sees me, he’ll remember all about me.
And the 4th semester started. He still doesn’t remember me. Can you guys imagine how I felt at the time? Someone who is really close to you doesn’t recognize you. He doesn’t even have a slight memory of you.
To be honest, I cried a lot whenever I think about him. Sometimes, I would purposely listened to a song called “Pesanan Buat Kekasih” and hoping that someday he will recognize me and remember everything that we have been through together in the past. He used to sing this song to me and I like it so much. His voice just suits the song.
Some of my friends doubted that he really has lost his memories. But I was so sure he has lost them. I can see it in his eyes. I told myself that I have to be strong. Slowly, I started to make myself visible to him. It’s ok if he will never remember the past. I will create new memories with him. The day goes by, we are not as close as we were before the operation but I did try my best.
Suddenly, somewhere in the semester break around May 2010, his text reached to me…
He remembers me. He remembers all about us. And saying that he was sorry for everything, for not remembering me, his little sister. Only Allah knows how relieved and happy I was at the time. The moment that I’ve been waiting for after so long has finally come. Alhamdulillah. Syukur pada mu Ya Allah.
I have my brother back. Of course we have our ups and downs. Even real siblings fights. But, at the end of the day, we just know that we need each other.
Ban, if you are reading this, just remember that no matter how long, no matter what other people says, no matter how bad you screwed up, I will always be there besides you through toughest thick and thin. I will catch you whenever you fall and I will never stop giving you the strength you needed to keep on going on the hard road. Because I know, you’ll do the same for me.
Happy birthday bro.
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